Why Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Destroy America

Ever since Obama came out in support of gay marriage this week, the internet has been blowing up with strong opinions for and against the president. In case you've been living under a rock, here's the clip:

Yep, you heard it here first, our president IS A GAY MUSLIM CHRISTIAN HATER. After reading a lot of well thought out Facebook stati, written in a tasteful Caps Lock, I've taken it upon myself to write up a few reasons that gay marriage will absolutely destroy this great nation.

1. If we allow homosexuals to marry, we're encouraging a lifestyle of monogamy and commitment that may ultimately result in the babies that are put up for adoption (instead of being aborted) finding homes with two loving parents, instead of being raised by a single teen mom like god intended. 
2. Admittedly, I stole this one from a post of a Facebook friend, but it was too good to pass up!! If we allow gay people to reap the health insurance benefits of a married couple, they will no longer feel the need for god. This is true guys, it happened to me. Since Obama allows me to stay on my parents' insurance until 26 (Which is going to be ENABLING and WRONG and SOCIALIST on my 26th birthday, but totally cool right now) I have Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance, and do you know what? The day I was accepted onto that plan, I lost my faith :(
3. I've heard a lot of LEFTISTS suggesting that we legalize a government recognized marriage, but not force the church to do anything they don't want to do - I.E.-marry a same sex couple in the church. This seems rational at first glance - equal rights, without infringing on anyone's religious beliefs. WRONG. Really think this one through - if this becomes law, that would be to say that a religious organization has NO RIGHT to dictate the legal benefits of people who do not subscribe to said organization. Does that make any sense to anyone? 
4. In addition to the fact that history has proved TIME AND TIME AGAIN that for every gay marriage there is a straight divorce due to the destruction of marriage's sanctity at that moment, this is an issue of principle. If we allow same sex marriage, it's a slippery downhill slope. Next thing you know, the left will be proposing a separation of church and state. Can you imagine? 
5. This
   

Editor's Note: Isn't it cool how blogs can exist for anyone to share their thoughts and opinions? Isn't it cool how many right wing political blogs exist that I never comment on, or how many facebook posts have upset me to the point of tears, that I have never picked a fight on? The internet is a great place where everyone can  express their thoughts whether right, wrong, or neither, and I require the same respect I show on your websites, on mine. That's a long way of saying "don't waste your time writing out a comment about how I'm going to hell because 1. I've already heard that one, and 2. I won't publish it."
Image via TheOatmeal.com. Obviously. 

Persona-l (a list)

It occurred to me recently (probably later than it should have) that my readers since I resumed here, are primarily different than they were a year ago. I've joked on Twitter about how disappointed my internet community would be to discover that I'm not actually as big of an idiot as my persona is, and depending on where you're filtering in from, I may be about to blow your mind.
So without further adieu, My Super Important, Crucial, Not-An-Option, list of things you should know about me :
     1. I do not hate Arizona.
After certain reactions to my most recent post, this one seemed important. Fun fact: I live in Arizona, and I love it. I in no way blame the state for gender inequality, or think it's a bad place to live (hello, Oklahoma and Utah are still states, right?) (you're right that was below the belt, you know where to send the hate mail) All this said, any particular emphasis on Arizona state bills and laws are only a reflection of the fact that this is my home, and I want to see it making strides toward progress.
     2. I write things.
Sometimes I'm completely joking, sometimes I'm not at all. Usually both. This blog exists entirely as a place for me to write whatever I'm thinking about, and while I'm lucky to have people who care what it is I have to say - I'm not changing my focus for that. I don't walk into your house and tell you how to rearrange your furniture for me (almost never) and I feel that entitlement to a say in someone's blog content is the same idea. And I won't have that shit.
     3. I think Pinterest is stupid
This one's really important, because I've been meaning to get that off my chest.
     4. I have opinions 
See: item number 2. Between blog posts about cats and pizza, may be something you disagree with. That's cool. But I do reserve the right not to approve your comment, if I feel it's just irrational hate-speak like 'cats r fuckin ugly n i h8 pizza lol F U'
     5. My birthday is in 11 days
This one's really important too, because, you know, pizza.
     6. I believe in being aware of your surroundings 
SO SUE ME. I've never had an experience where I regretted being educated on a current event (besides maybe the 72 day Kardashian marriage) In complete seriousness, humans need to be doing more to take care of each other, and the first step is knowing how and where.

And maybe the most important thing I could ever say, is that it's 2am and I got 3 hours of sleep last night and also puppies. Can't wait to get back to my usual regime of jokes about dying alone, and eating Hot Pockets in bed. (same thing?)

A Separation of The Constitution, and State

Oof. When I started back here, my intention was never to exclusively touch on "hot buttons" or social controversies, but it's getting harder to stay out of it. I was at a loss for what to even title this post, as 'R U EFFING KIDDING ME, AZ?' didn't seem to have quite the tact you probably haven't come to expect of me.

Earlier this week, I read a well put article by Tegan on Arizona's piece of legislation that allows doctors to lie to a woman about any diseases her unborn child may have, to prevent her from having an abortion. Now let me stop here and say this is not a post about abortion. Regardless of you you feel on the issue, a doctor failing to give a mother the opportunity to prepare to have a special needs child - a huge life transition - is not okay. I had heard about this briefly awhile back, but had dismissed it as Arizona being Arizona, and assumed it would be dismissed by any self-respecting politician as well. Nope.

"What will Arizona come up with next?" you might ask. HAHA, it's funny you should ask. If you've followed the Sandra Fluke story at all, or, more than likely, the  Rush Limbaugh-Sandra Fluke story, you may have a guess as to where this is going. Arizona is now looking to pass a bill that would allow your employer to fire you for using birth control.

With this bill, not only can a non-religious, for-profit employer deny the coverage of birth control through insurance, this bill takes a cue from Channing Tatum, and steps it up. Should the bill pass, if your employer discovers that you are on the pill, paying out of pocket, they have the right to fire you for this. God. Bless. America. In case you just dismissed that last sentence due to extreme sleep deprivation and went to get some coffee, let me re-emphasize. This bill gives your employer the right to decide whether or not you use birth control, and is being taken seriously. 

Never mind that according to UF Health Science Center, 726,000 women who take birth control pills have never had sex, and are using the pill for reasons other than contraception. Never mind that because it shouldn't matter, as it has no baring on your job performance and thereby should be no concern of your employer, or for that matter, anyone who is not you.

Listen up, the same way no one though Rebecca Black's Friday would go viral, a majority of people in their right minds may not take this seriously as a threat - but it has already passed one house. Don't chalk anything up to human decency...we're talking about Arizona, after all. Tell Arizonan legislators that this is not okay, and you will not stand for it.

Image via American Civil Liberties Union

Kony 2012 - Harm or Good?

I'm here to stir the pot. I'm here to eat pizza. I'm here to look at pictures of kittens dressed up as people. But right now, I'm here to stir the pot just a little bit. 

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

If you have a Facebook account, and 30 minutes of free time, you've watched Invisible Children's video on Kony 2012. If you haven't, you can view it above. The short film is very moving, and shines a light on an important issue many people don't even realize exists. Over the past 72 hours, the link has been spreading like wildfire, and thousands of people have made 180's from being unaware, to donating to Kony 2012 with pure intentions and bleeding hearts. Beautiful.

End fairy tale. 

Chances are, if you've seen the video, or followed the cause, you've also heard about the "Kony 2012 controversy" but may not fully understand what it is. The truth of the matter is, while the film is quite moving and hear my words: supports a good cause, in the real world, not everything is as black and white as "good guys" and "bad guys" I'm not here to tell you not to support Kony 2012, but I am here to tell you to get educated about exactly what you're supporting. Personally, I think Kony 2012 is the best solution currently available as a realistic way to aid victims of the LRA from here in America and I do financially support the cause. That said, it may not be for everyone, as each of us has different convictions, and there are serious flaws in their approach that should be addressed and taken seriously. To support the cause you must truly pick your poison.

Here are a few articles I strongly suggest you read before you decide where you want your money to go to: Stop Kony, yes. But don’t stop asking questions, We've got trouble, Invisible Children's Official Response to Critiques 

If after reading, you do not feel that you would like to support Kony 2012, there are lots of other great ways to financially aid Central Africa. Try checking out Got a better idea? for alternative charities, Kwagala Project to donate to former victims of child prostitution in Uganda, and know that there are other charities out there that can be easily uncovered, if you're willing to ask questions and do your homework.

I'm not here to tell you what to do or believe in, but I absolutely am here to spread awareness and tell you to be educated in every decision you ever make. Life is not always ever black and white, and you are responsible for knowing why you believe what you believe, and standing up for what you feel is right.

If you feel there is a stronger charity supporting the aid of LRA victims, feel free to link in the comments.

By Women, For Women, For Men?

Feminism has become a dirty word, and it's no wonder why. Like any social or political movement, the image has been exhausted, and overcome with stories of extremists and photos of topless women holding signs that more closely resemble an anti-men movement than a pro-women one. The phrase "I'm not a feminist or anything" is tossed around more often than that picture of Miley Cyrus smoking pot, and it is no longer cool to be associated with the word 'feminist'. And while I understand the connotation, I also recognize that the biggest prevention from rebuilding an image, is disappearing all together. Greater still, I fear that in an effort to disassociate with the "crazy side" we are now living in a society that is moving backward in the realm of women's rights.

I recently read an article entitled 'Beauty mistakes that turn men off' and in case you were wondering, your perfume is too strong, your foundation is too heavy, your eyelashes are too 'spidery', your skin is too dry, your legs are too prickly, your teeth are too yellow, your lip gloss is too sticky, your skin is too orange, your hair is too stiff, your eye makeup is too dark, your lip color is too bold, your hair is too accessorized, and your nail polish is too dark. For who, though? Men. Men as a whole - an entire gender - hates your lip color. Obviously this offended me (not just as a woman, but as a human being) for a number of reasons, but in the whole thing - I was most disappointed to see that this article had been written by a woman. 

It is widely accepted that men are the biggest hindrances to women being valued as equals in society, but I'm not so sure. I've spent enough time on the internet to know that when you read something that upsets you, the next logical step is to read more things similar and get more upset...so that's what I did. And do you know what? I'd say that, conservatively, 80% of these articles picking women apart to make them more attractive to men are written by women. For women. For men. WHY. Who are these hypothetical men that we're all so concerned about pleasing? I once tweeted in jest,

Going to start a magazine called How to Manipulate Men into Letting You Devote Your Life to Serving Them..then the inside will just be Cosmo

— Paige Baker (@vpbaker) January 21, 2012

but in all honestly, it's not that far of a stretch. Every article everywhere is telling you how to change yourself be more appealing to a hypothetical man that apparently hates dark nail polish, but for fun, let's explore the idea that you don't need a man the same way you don't need a woman. Forget the fact that it's a ridiculous notion to assume that an entire gender likes or dislikes anything based solely on gender, because at the end of the day - even if they did - it does not matter. If you like Yahoo!'s beauty tips, take them. But take them for yourself, and not for a supposed hypothetical who is going to be turned off by you otherwise. Let people take you as you are, not as they would like to see you, and let your "self improvement" be motivated by your own standards.

I am a feminist. And sometimes my eyelashes are a little spidery.

YOLO/I'm Back, OK?

It's been said that "a week to a blogger is a year to the rest of the world" so I currently accept that 9 months to a blogger is "lol, u think u still have readerz?" but I'm about to try anyway.

In my absence I've been writing on other websites and blogs, editing other people's work, playing in HTML, tweeting, crying, showing people to their seats, entering data, vacuuming the rug, and most importantly, petting cats. But I'm ready to re-obtain my own space, and have a place to call home.

The thought of opening a new blog and starting fresh crossed my mind more than once, but sadly, I've stolen my own URL, so I'm committed to this page. I expect the blog to take a new direction/literally just be me writing whatever I'm thinking about and etiquette is out the window. Politics, religion, pizza, cats, pizza - who knows what socially relevant things could be running through my brain at any given moment. You just. never. Know.

My ultimate goal at this point, is to have somewhere to write without a persona, or self-imposed obligation to say/do/not say/not do certain things. This is my notebook. These are my stories.

To the two people who got that - I respect you.

Editor's note: It turns out I really wanted the "fresh start" more than I realized I did, and have decided to export all but the most recent few blog posts to a different page - and start clean here.

Greetings, Laughter

OH HAY. Last night my post E-motions – When The Internet Isn’t Cute, went up on HelloGiggles. I hope you all get a chance to read through it, as well as through some of the other great posts there (I'm looking especially at you, Stephanie, Marianna, and Dani) I'm so honored to have been a part of the site, AND you can be looking for me there in the future. I'm extremely excited for this new opportunity, with so many people I respect so much.

Miss u, Blogger

It's summertime, or whatever. Temperatures in the double digits are gone until September, my shoulders are bright red, and (even in Arizona) staying in the house is the far from an ideal way to spend a day.

(all photos via Ffîon)

So yeah, I totally miss you all. And of course I miss blogging like whoa. 

I promise to visit, as often as I possibly can. And you visit me, too.

Tumblr. Twitter.

If You're Born With a Love for the Wrote and the Writ

My semester ends this Thursday at 9:59pm, which may result is blogs being slightly less few and far between, here. In the mean time, you can pretty much expect to not hear from me.
However, quickly, I saw Johnny Flynn this past Thursday, and the whole place reeked of hipsters. It was like AZ Blogger Meetup, part two. Which, logically, leaves me to ask how many of you were there?
And for those of you who haven't yet had the pleasure,

Also, here are two of the poems from my All The Oceans Ink, blog (which has taken a similar break, to this one) I haven't posted any poetry here in a while and I couldn't think of a more perfect time then when I'm trying to stall for another week.
#10-365                                                                  #11-365
in that moment                                                      every turn in your skull
all the trees                                                             was defined
fell to the ground                                                  as your skin fell slowly
all the oceans                                                         to the bottoms of your feet
dried                                                                          and as your bones unhinged
and the voices                                                       and your organs unraveled
in the air                                                                   you looked at me
were silenced.                                                        and said
                                                                                     with your last breath
                                                                                     I wasn't made for this
Until next time, see you on twitter.

In Which I Obsess

I love Natasha King. Soul mates--no question.

Obviously

This is how all of you would describe me, right?

And speaking of how you'd describe me, Thomas Prior's work is really brilliant.

Take Your Time Coming Home

HEY LOOK AT THIS, I'M STILL LIVING AND BREATHING AND ALL THAT. Oh and look here:

The Laughing Heart from Bradley Bell on Vimeo.
I love this video Kim showed me. You can find more of Brad's work, here.
Okay, and also, the obvious thing to talk about. You can consider this post an official return to an unofficial hiatus from blogging. The past three weeks, I've lived the greatest blogging paradox of not having time to blog, because you're too busy living the life you blog about. I found it too cliche, and I'm totally over it. I'm thrilled to be back to regular blogging, and am hoping tobe here even more than before the break.
At some point, each of these will have more in depth explanations, but for the time being, here's what you missed:
-I was sick on my birthday, but it was still lovely
-I paid someone to put a new hole in my nose
-The Phoenix New Times is talking about me
-I found a job
-I'm the proud owner of a Royal Quiet De Luxe
-I'm planning a new weekly guest feature, here
-I'm an unofficial cat midwife
-Easter happened
Oh and some other things happened, too. All in good time, I'll have more posted.

On Winning

Danielle took these this weekend, and I am just dying of the cuteness.

Sofia turned three last Wednesday, and seriously? She just gets more beautiful every day. I know I'm a little bit biased, but I swear, if there's a prettiest three year-old contest--she totally wins. And if that offends you and your three year-old: reality check time. LOOK AT HER. I'm sure your baby is first runner up.

Pretend Like I'm Not Even Here

Updates: My teeth are bleeding. It's cute. See also:

{Natasha King}

 {bethfromabove}

{Paul Stolper}

{Christophe Décès}

 {danswenson}

 {baldvinh}

Also see also:
-dancing
-making shit
-not sleeping
-making up my mind (or something)

Romantic, Etc.

I hope you all know that a saint was killed today. And you're eating chocolates. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

{rest less}

I don't think I'm really cool enough to enthusiastically love or hate Valentine's Day. It's fun to celebrate, the way anything is fun to celebrate. It was always fun in school to pass out valentines (mostly because of the candy) But honestly? I am pretty mutual. I probably wouldn't even remember what day it was, if there weren't reminders everywhere.

I'll be spending the day babysitting for a funeral, (am I the only one who thinks it's a weird day for a funeral?) writing papers, painting, going to dinner with a friend because we're both heartbroken that we can't afford the Ben Kweller/Pete Yorn show, and a long distance call that will most likely end in accidental sleeping, and the words "I wasn't asleep" being repeated a few times before we eventually face facts, and hang up.
What can I say? I'm really going all out this year.

Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you get a teddy bear as big as your car.