Yep, you heard it here first, our president IS A GAY MUSLIM CHRISTIAN HATER. After reading a lot of well thought out Facebook stati, written in a tasteful Caps Lock, I've taken it upon myself to write up a few reasons that gay marriage will absolutely destroy this great nation.
- If we allow homosexuals to marry, we're encouraging a lifestyle of monogamy and commitment that may ultimately result in the babies that are put up for adoption (instead of being aborted) finding homes with two loving parents, instead of being raised by a single teen mom like god intended.
- Admittedly, I stole this one from a post of a Facebook friend, but it was too good to pass up!! If we allow gay people to reap the health insurance benefits of a married couple, they will no longer feel the need for god. This is true guys, it happened to me. Since Obama allows me to stay on my parents' insurance until 26 (Which is going to be ENABLING and WRONG and SOCIALIST on my 26th birthday, but totally cool right now) I have Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance, and do you know what? The day I was accepted onto that plan, I lost my faith :(
- I've heard a lot of LEFTISTS suggesting that we legalize a government recognized marriage, but not force the church to do anything they don't want to do - I.E.-marry a same sex couple in the church. This seems rational at first glance - equal rights, without infringing on anyone's religious beliefs. WRONG. Really think this one through - if this becomes law, that would be to say that a religious organization has NO RIGHT to dictate the legal benefits of people who do not subscribe to said organization. Does that make any sense to anyone?
- In addition to the fact that history has proved TIME AND TIME AGAIN that for every gay marriage there is a straight divorce due to the destruction of marriage's sanctity at that moment, this is an issue of principle. If we allow same sex marriage, it's a slippery downhill slope. Next thing you know, the left will be proposing a separation of church and state. Can you imagine?
Image via TheOatmeal.com. Obviously.